Dude, did you seriously ask the police to do that?

So as a small town or rural police officer or deputy, you get used to having to perform duties that your brethren in larger communities don't normally get sent to or have to do. Its just part of the job and for the most part you don't complain about them because your just so happy for something to do.

But occasionally you get one of those requests that makes you ask what was that person smoking?

So the other day was my newest WTF moment. I am sitting around doing important police things, when my dispatcher calls and lays this request on me. 

Apparently there was a citizen at the nearby airport, which in reality is one landing strip with some tin buildings around it, who called to inquire if there was a taxi service that could provide them with a ride into town. My dispatcher politely informs the citizen in need that no, we have no taxi service, at which time they  want an officer to come pick them up and take them to as store in town to spend some money. My dispatcher, who is new to the wonderful world of public safety communications, then calls me to ask if I would be able to provide a ride for this brain trust citizen. 

[Cue sarcastic voice] Of course I immediately tell her yes, hop into my patrol car and run out to the airport to chauffeur the wayward pilot and his crew on their shopping foray. After all we are in an economic downturn, they are infusing much needed revenue into the community and I would be remiss by not playing my part in helping the local economy but not doing so.

Yeah right. Of course I didn't do that. What kind of idiot flies a plane into a rural community of less that 2000 people, believing that there is a taxi service!? And then to have the stupidity audacity to think that anyone in public safety, in particular the POLICE, would carry you about town so that you could shop!? It says POLICE not TAXI on the doors dude! WTH were you thinking!?

I did however ask the dispatcher if 1) she was serious, which she assured me she was, and 2) advised her unless it was an emergency such as illness, death or the end of the world, we do not provide taxi services to people for the purpose of shopping in this community and that maybe they should utilize the service of the "Skymall."

My message was relayed to the misguided pilot, who of course was appalled by the fact that the police would not help him acquire more personal property and instead started up the plane and flew off into the wild blue yonder leaving  me to sit around and shake my head in amazement.

Oh well, at least I have another entry into the strange requests column.